Cave Johnson here!
Have you ever thought, “Boy, my desk sure is in a shady part of the office. I could really use some protection!” Of course you have. Everybody knows coworkers are jerks and that’s why I’m offering six free, that’s right, I said free, Desktop Sentry Turrets* on honor of me finding two hundred people smart enough to pay attention to what I have to say. Frankly, I think it should be more than two hundred, but anyway…
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Cave, what’s the catch? Why are you just giving away these marvels of technology for free?” Heh heh. Well, the simple answer is, they’re defective. Won’t shoot a damned thing. And the marketing boys have suggested I throw a few of ‘em to the public as a free sample of sorts. If you like the broken ones you’re almost guaranteed to buy the working ones!
And they may not shoot, but they’re certainly threatening enough to keep your idiot peers from stealing your stapler. And if not, who cares? They’re free, stop whining.
You’ll receive six designs including:
Standard White (closed)
Desert Camo (closed)
And “Starburst”? Is that what we’re calling it? (closed)
And all you have to do to get ‘em is follow a few simple rules:
- You do have to be following me to win since this is a follower appreciation giveaway and because I’m damned fantastic.
- Like and/or reblog this post that way I know you actually want the damned things.
- Likes and reblogs each count once. So don’t bother reblogging a thousand times because all you’re doing annoying people who don’t care.
- No giveaway blogs.
- The winner will be chosen in two weeks by an Aperture Science Automated Random Selection Program.**
- You’ll be notified and asked for your address via your ask box so keep that open. I will ship internationally.
Good luck, valued consumer! Oh, and just a heads up, by giving us your address you’re consenting to being enrolled in testing so I guess I’ll also say, see you soon, future Science Explorer!
I think we’re done here.
*NECA/Wizkids Blind Box Turrets
**Random Number Generator